Sunday, March 27, 2016

03.26.2016 Wingless Wings

What comes to mind when you think of a "Breakfast of Champions?" There are no wrong answers to this thought experiment, but when I hear that phrase I generally think of a carb-heavy breakfast. So, today I was a champion. I present...my breakfast:


Another round of delicious Three Cheese Kraft "macaroni" and "cheese." Complimentary to this carb dish were some more carbs. Two rolls, one white and one wheat, with butter and a glass of milk carbed out my carby morning.


This time, we used barely any milk for the mac and cheese. So, what you're looking at in the above picture is essentially shells, the cheese mix, and probably about a stick of butter. Alright, it's not quite that much, but you get the idea. What this equates to is some seriously delicious food of questionable ingredients.

And since it's impossible to get too much butter, I loaded up those rolls.


More butter, because butter.

Since there was a game of reasonable importance tonight, we decided to go with a sporting event staple for dinner. Hot wings are pretty much just awesome. They're delicious, they taste good, and they've got great flavor. We decided to be a little adventurous this time and ordered the boneless instead of the traditional finger-destroying bone-in variety. We got some fries to go with it, because you can't have too many ways to eat ranch.


The fries were good, especially with ranch, but on to the main course.

Since I'm so used to getting bone-in wings, I wasn't prepared for the boneless. We usually get a 50-piece, and we always have left overs. But upon opening the boxes, it didn't look like there were hardly any "wings" there.



Surely not enough for 4 people, right?? I would later realize that, by ordering the wings boneless, I inadvertently played a surprisingly easy Jedi mind trick on myself. With bone-in wings, I usually start off with 8 wings and some fries. But when I place 8 boneless wings on my plate, it appeared as though I would be starving pretty soon. So I put a few more on there and went to work.


Just by eyeballing it, it was clear that one of these boneless wings had just as much if not more meat that a single bone-in wing, but the presentation threw me off. Without the mass of the bone, tendons, and ligaments, these wings just looked smaller. So that means that I thought I could eat more. And I did.


I got my second plate, which was almost as robust as the first one. I went through it without a problem. After I was done, there were no wings left. 50 wings were gone between 4 people, but I had at least 20 of them. Normally, I'd say I stay right around the 16 wing mark, but today I ate more. I think several factors played in to this phenomenon. First, as mentioned previously, they looked smaller. This visual slight of plate told my brain that I needed to eat more. Second was the fact that these wings were boneless. This means that I was able to use a fork. Using a fork means that I was able to, consciously or unconsciously, eat much faster than if I had had to gnaw the mean off of the bone. These two facets of these boneless wings factored in to my over-consumption.

Or maybe they really were just smaller than traditional bone-in wings, and maybe I actually didn't eat more than normal.

Oh, but I did. A short time after I was done eating, I began to feel it. I felt the fullness in my stomach spreading upward. I began to feel so bloated that I immediately knew I had eaten more than normal. But, you know, that's not exactly a bad thing. Sure, I would be noticeably full for the next several hours, and sure, I would be dying of thirst all night. But it was worth it. These boneless Buffalo and Garlic Parmesan wings from Wings Cafe were delicious. The Buffalo flavor has a unique flavor that still says "Buffalo" but that is different from every other wing place. The Garlic Parmesan is different but good. And on top of being delicious, another benefit of accidentally eating more than normal is, you guessed it, getting more huge than expected!

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