Alright, so here it is. I'm nearing the end of my quest to get huge. Yes, it's true. It's sad, but true nonetheless. I'll soon be on a quest to get lean. With that in mind, this buffet adventure needed to be something special. I needed to go out with a bang. Well, I think it lived it up to that expectation.
Quinn and Andrew, who, like me, are always looking to get huge, accompanied me to Genghis Khan
Mongolian Grill. We arrived at 1800 and started eating at 1815. This later becomes an important detail in the story.
I started off my first bowl with some egg noodles, beef, scallions, red peppers, Chinese sausage, and potatoes. Now here comes the problem. I wanted to flavor my concoction with soy sauce, but I had no idea how much I should add. I just eyeballed it, and ended up pouring four ladles into my bowl. This seemed like a reasonable proportion given the amount of food that I had. I then took my bowl up to the grill, added in an egg, and waited for it be cooked.
When it was all done and cooked, I took my food back to the table. Judging by its color, I guessed that I may have added slightly too much soy sauce. But then I tasted it. Now I knew for sure that I added way too much soy sauce. Literally, this was the saltiest food that I had ever eaten. It tasted good, but wow was it salty.
I finished this plate along with my appetizers of 2 crab rangoons and two chicken wings and then headed back up to get some more.
After I had prepared my bowl, this time with egg noodles, beef, scallions, potatoes, red peppers, corn, carrots, three eggs, and half as much soy sauce, and placed it in line to get cooked, I went back and got some more wings to avoid unnecessary idle time when I could be getting huge. I got 5 more wings. After I finished these, my second plate of food was ready.
When I took my 2nd plate back to the table, I was encouraged by the color. I thought that maybe it wouldn't taste like pure salt.
But I was wrong. It was still way too salty. But I was determined to eat it. Unfortunately, the salt proved too much. Never before had I become nauseated by a food because it was too salty. Too sweet, too rich, sure. But never too salty. It got to a point that it didn't even taste good any more, and after what seemed like an hour of struggling, I finally called it quits having eaten a little more than half. This is unfortunate too because even though I wasn't necessarily full after this 2nd plate, I couldn't stomach the thought of eating any more similar food.
Meanwhile, while my struggle was going on, Andrew finished his 3rd huge plate and Quinn finished his 4th huge plate. Honestly, I really can't believe how much food Quinn can eat. And judging by his 140 pound physique, I don't think many people would peg him as a huge eater. But that he is. So much so in fact that he wants to leave the arena of mere amateur buffetology and step into the world of food challenges. Andrew and I already have a little experience with food challenges, having completed the Everest Challenge burger a few years ago. Quinn also attempted this, and although he didn't finish it, he also wasn't eating as much as he is now. So, with this new seemingly endless hunger, he wants to attempt to eat a 5 pound burrito. This is scheduled for next weekend, so stay tuned for that.
After Andrew powered through his 3rd huge plate of predominantly brotein, it was time. Yes, it was that time of the buffet session we all knew was coming. We had already scoped out the desserts, and there were some pretty good looking brownies.
We went back and got some more. I got 8 more brownie squares.
And then we got some more....
...and some more.
By the time Andrew and I had downed about 40 of these squares, he made the joking comment of attempting to eat 100 squares. We both just kind of looked at each other as if to say "Yeah, right. Not!" But for some reason (read: these things were delicious), we just kept on eating.
Eventually, Quinn finished his quest to eat all the food in the building and joined Andrew and I in our dessert demolishing.
After this most recent round, we added up our totals. When the results were in, our attitudes changed from lighthearted to more serious. We were at a total of 85 squares. Now 100 didn't seem so impossible. All we needed were 5 more squares each. Quinn and Andrew each got 5, and I somehow ended up with 6, just to push the total to 101. We were successful in eating 101 brownie/lemon squares. I still really can't believe that.
All totaled, I ended up eating 42 squares, Andrew had 47, and Quinn, being late to the party, contributed 12 squares to the 101 squares that were thoroughly enjoyed.
And here's where the time comes in to play. To achieve this massive feat in first-world gluttony, we were practically constantly eating for over two hours. We started eating at 1815 and we weren't done until 2030. This is quite a long time to be eating, but it was a good time.
101 dessert squares.
Also, earlier in the day, I warmed up with a couple Clif bars and a Z-Man from Joe's Kansas City Bar-B-Que.