Bro Magic

Everyone needs a little magic, and the Average Bro is no different. Ask yourself, "If I were in search of some decent, first-bro magic, where would I go?" If you answered anything other than Disney World, you're wrong! So yes, my adult self spent the day at the most magical place on Earth.

For a magical day to be started off right, a proper breakfast is a must. A festive, themed arrangement of carbs is the most effective solution. I've thrown in some token brotein, but don't be fooled. I'm on the fast track for infinite gains with this wonderfully shaped carb-o-rama.

Other than the waffle, lemon poppyseed muffin, and eggs, I had a cup of raspberry applesauce as a nod to my gains-filled childhood.

Now bro-deep in magic, I needed a brofill. I opted for some surprisingly decent chicken strip nugget thingies with hot, still glistening from the fat French fries. Unfortunately, the only dipping sauce available was an average, mass-produced "BBQ" sauce, but it wasn't the worst I've ever had.

Feeling as though I left some magic behind somewhere, I agreed to partake in the consumption of a ridiculously-sized chocolate-iced donut...with sprinkles (because, according to a friend, they taste great!). As a scale of the sheer size of this thing, it's shown here being held by my lovely, normal-sized head fiancée.

That was it for food for a while. In the meantime, I participated in more magic and general merriment. It all culminated with a fireworks display over Cinderella's Castle.

But then, on the way back to the hotel, bros were in dire need of gains. Now, I'm not one to openly (and freely/royalty freely) promote businesses (other than my own). But this calls for an exception. It was late at night. Places close late at night. Places except fast food. When choosing a fast food restaurant at which to make gains, usually the lesser of several evils is chosen. But this was different. We went to Wendy's; usually a relatively solid choice. I opted to try the new Gouda Bacon cheeseburger. I ordered it without tomato, and with a spicy chicken wrap as a backup. Aside from the ever-presence of tomato, it was delicious. So was the chicken wrap, which had plenty of cheese and ranch. And so were the fries, which had copious amounts of sodium. All in all, it was one of the best fast food meals ever, and I could feel the pure gains going straight to the brain.

This day truly was magical. It was full of memories that I'll always cherish, and full of gains that I'll probably lose by next week. But anyway, I couldn't've had a better time.