Broscience Series: Macronutrient Polarization

My meals are so rarely one sided as they were today. For instance, even in my carb-heavy meals, there is at least a dash of brotein. Likewise, when I'm completely bro-ing out on brotein, there are usually at least a few wayward carbs to be found lurking in the corner of the (usually round) plate. But there are always exceptions. Today, as a whole, was one of those exceptions. 

Breakfast is where it all went wrong (and oh so right). I was informed that there were doughnuts awaiting my arrival, their (and my) breath abated. Unfortunately, I made a terrible assumption in my mental preparation. Usually, when I eat doughnuts, I only eat two. To ensure this, I only get two. It didn't even cross my mind that there could be more than two doughnuts waiting for me. So, I frolicked into the kitchen, ready to eat my two doughnuts. What I found quickly unraveled my mental state. 

Not only did I find two doughnuts, I found 2^3 doughnuts, all right there and place conveniently in a box. I started off strong, my willpower allowing me to only take two. I chose a classic glazed and a chocolate cake with chocolate icing and beloved (dreaded) sprinkles. 

But, as is sure to happen in situations like this, a giant wrench was thrown into the cogs that made up my formerly ironclad mental fortitude. Sidney grabbed a doughnut of her favorite variety, a long john, but, upon biting into it, discovered that it was filled with Bavarian cream. Although most would consider this a positive surprise, she was not having it. That was the precise moment I lost it.

Upon proclaiming her distaste for the pastry, she handed it off to me. It's hard enough to resist a doughnut, but an extra long, chocolate iced, Bavarian cream-filled doughnut being handed to you by the incredibly beautiful woman you love is a whole different ball game. What I mean to say is, it was literally impossible to resist. Literally. Thus the third doughnut.

After having eaten and thoroughly enjoying this unexpected treat, I may have found it an opportune time to stop eating. But the doughnuts tasted so good, and I was so hungry! My inner dialogue included me convincing myself that since I already had a third doughnut, I may as well have another. Thus the fourth doughnut. 

At this point, having eaten four doughnuts, all bets were off. I was predictably still hungry, so I went back to the magic box of carbs. I was unpleasantly surprised to only find about 60% of doughnut left. Besides the feelings of horror that came from the realization that someone could actually eat less than a single doughnut, I was disappointed that the doughnuts were essentially gone. Being extremely generous, I split the remnants of this doughnut with Sidney. This left me with roughly 30% of my fifth doughnut, for a total of almost four and a half doughnuts. 

Next time, I might go for a clean dozen. Stay tuned.

Having eaten probably well over a thousand calories, none of which came from brotein, I could feel my hard-earned gains fading away. There is only one way to move forward in this situation.

I kept eating, but less carbs and more brotein. 

I only ate about a tenth of the food on this plate, as this was the entirety of Sidney's leftovers from a previous lunch. Essentially, I had a few bites of chicken tender.

I didn't eat again until dinner, which was essentially the polar opposite of breakfast. Whereas at breakfast I ate all the carbs and none of the brotein, for dinner I ate all of the brotein and none of the carbs. 

 

I had three chicken thighs and two legs. It was a nice departure from the carbs of earlier in the day.